Brother, Auteur

My brother Ryan is a weird dude. I say that under the assumption that he'll never read my blog but even if he did, I mean it as a total compliment as I generally hold weird people in high regard. Growing up, he was always the quietest yet most rebellious of three kids who each had a knack for finding trouble (typical "middle child syndrome" -- I suppose he had to push it to the next level as a means of getting attention.) He hung out with a rough crowd and found himself in trouble with the law early and often. Usually he was only guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time but I wouldn’t go so far as to call him innocent on all counts.

Now that he’s well on the other side of his teenage riot years, he has mellowed out quite a bit but he is still close friends with some of those guys that used to terrorize the neighborhood. It’s funny to think of them all grown up with kids and jobs and girlfriends and responsibilities. Ryan himself has a great girlfriend and a great house and gets along great with our parents whom he used to torture with his deviant behavior.

Being an adult, I suppose the only way for my bad boy bro to get a thrill now is through movies so it is no surprise to me that he's a huge fan of films by Quentin Tarrantino and Robert Rodriguez. He so loved the Grindhouse double feature that he and his buddy came up with an outline for a trilogy of campy, B horror/action movies of their own in tribute. The first in the series would be Bloodsucking Lesbians, followed by Psycho Sluts From Hell. Wrapping up the ménage a trios would be their masterwork, simply titled, Say Hi To Satan. To hear them go on and on, I'm certain that many long nights of heavy drinking went in to the crafting of these tales. They had them written, cast and shot in their minds and each one was to be busting at the seems with sassy dialog, gratuitous (lesbian) sex, ample blood and highly choreographed explosions.

So it was with a bit of regret that my brother told me about a recently released movie which seems to encompass much of what his beloved trilogy was to represent. Since his dream may never come to fruition, and since this is just too damn funny not to share, I give you Bitch Slap: