Skyespace

Oh, Brother Where Fart Thou?

I've been seeing this e-mail circulating lately that was supposedly written by a woman in Texas called "Facts About Raising Boys" in which she tells several "true" stories about the agony and comedy of parenting. Since I grew up with two brothers of my own both of which often had their friends living with us in a neighborhood filled only with boys, I thought I'd share my own observations. And you can bet your sweet bippy mine are true (because some of you have probably already heard all of these stories):

* You can make a small bomb with a couple of firecrackers and a pair of pliers

* Never sleep on the bottom bunk

* Umbrellas do absolutely NOTHING to break your fall when jumping from a fifteen foot balcony

* Little brothers (age 5 or 6) will do ANYTHING to fly; even jumping from a fifteen foot balcony with an umbrella

* A ’79 Ford Fairmont can go 100MPH when it has to reach the emergency room

* Fart igniting is good rainy day entertainment; as is squirting hairspray on the bathroom wall and lighting it on fire

* Permanent marker requires multiple showers to completly wash off of your face

* Making that "whoosh" sound when you fight (like they do in Kung-Fu movies) somehow helps deliver kicks and punches

* Also in a fight, a swift kick to the balls really IS your best defense; run away while they’re down

* There is no loyalty among brothers; NEVER tell them your secrets because they will blab to Mom as soon as it is to their advantage (like when they get in trouble for something)